summer seems like it's gone by faster than I ever thought possible. I could have sworn graduation was just a week ago, that I only turned 18 yesterday... not that I'm too disappointed. I'm ready for school to start and for all the new beginnings that turning 18 has promised me.
I have a love-hate relationship with change. I've probably talked about it before, but it just terrifies. new people, new expectations, figuring everything out. it all seems so complicated and overwhelming.
I was thinking about it the other day - it's like learning a new song on the piano. I don't like learning new songs, I wish I just already knew the song I wanted to play as well as I knew others I had played for months or years even. the process is tedious, long, frustrating. it seems impossible to get from where I am to the point of being able to play the song the way it should sound.
but eventually, I get it. I learn to play it in time, and sometimes I shock myself with how quickly I pick up on it. one day, I seem to be walking through mud and the next it sounds almost as it should. a pleasant surprise.
the hard part is just getting to that point.
so here, I have a list of new beginnings & transitions happening in my life:
- I graduated from high school and I'll be starting college in 12 days. yes I have a count down. just because it's a new school doesn't mean I'm not excited for it. excited, and nervous. but I love the schedule I put together for myself, the fact that none of my classes start till 9:30am, and the programs I'm already involved in.
- there's a few things that, as per turning 18 and graduating, I'll no longer be a part of. things I've only done for a short time, like being a writer and photographer for the standard examiner, tx section. an enjoyable experience, definitely a time of learning, but I don't think I'll miss it too much. things I've done for a few years, like youth council. admittedly, I've already transitioned out of that one. I was never a huge fan of youth council and I really don't think I'll miss it at all. and then things that seem like they've been a big part of my life for so long, like young womens. I can tell I'll miss it and all the experiences I had, but I also am at the point where I'm ready. just ready to move on.
- and speaking of young womens, since I'm turning 18 I get to try out the ysa ward for church. I'm not overly excited for that... more updates to come later.
- I get to call smith by his first name now. ricky. I used to call him that every now in then in school just because I knew it sort of bugged him (and I am rather good at bugging people), but now that I actually can it seems sort of odd. something to get used to. I like it.
- oh yeah, I'm 18 which means I can buy dry ice and gold fish. but not at the same time. don't worry, I won't do that.
- I'm also officially moved into "my own place," which is really just my grandma's basement. I get my own bathroom, living room, and of course room to decorate and arrange however I want. it's quite nice, if not a bit of a change. more responsibility, cleaning and buying my own things, but I like it very much.
- and finalement, I finally got a job, one that I'm very excited for, if not a bit nervous. very nervous. but I'm actually really looking forward to it. I get to work from home after initial training, the boss and other employees are all super nice and organized, and I'll have my mom to help guide me when I need it, since she also works for the same company. plus, the hours are flexible with my college schedule, which is perfect.
in short, things are looking up, though much is changing. I've had a couple of rough bouts this summer - anxiety things and whatnot. but I've gotten through them, and I can say that I truly am ready for school, work, and whatever the world is gonna throw at me.
